Single Mommy

So.... Yeah, I've been neglecting this for a while and I really have been busy. Who knew that even with being a single mom and now having to share my precious babies with their father I was still going to be busy. I honestly thought I'd spend my days as a hermit, cry my poor eyes out over missing my babies and not want to start living life as a single mom of three. What is the life of a single mom of three? Is there some kind of handbook for this? Well, if there is no one told me about it. Shame on them!! Just kidding! It's a bit scary trying to navigate this new path. I mean I didn't get married with the intention of getting divorced and I sure didn't think I'd be dealing with 3 kids, no job and learning about the adult version of me at this age. But discovering myself now is better late than never don't you think?

So, the first time my babies went to their dad's was a true test of my strength. I actually cried a lot the week leading up to them spending the night with their dad. It was the little things throughout the day that I realize I'd miss. My son, my Baby and his hugs that are just to sweet for words. He's so pig-headed but it's so fun sparring with him and watching him try to keep up and figure out how to get around me. My mini-me, she my Heart really. Just so beyond what I could ever imagine. She tests me like no one could, but she's just so sweet... As for my oldest Girl, she's so much like her father that we butt heads and maybe it's because she's a teenager, who knows. She so independent already that i miss the days when she was little and wanted me around.

Well, the first night I cried and I actually walked around the house and made their beds (I never do that) and cried my eyes out on My mini-me's bed. And ate junk food and didn't leave the house much. Luckily it was just for a few days and not the entire 4 days. I was just so happy to know they'd be home early that it didn't sink in entirely. It did this time though. I was sad the first day and night bc it's hard getting used to the silence and trying to find things to fill my days. But I had a lot of errands and since it was Spring break it a nice time alone to enjoy the weather.

Wow, I'm tired and not finished with this but it'll do for now bc my eyes are heavy and i need some sleep... Until next time and when i can keep my eyes open... Learn to Love you, so You can Love the one you're with...

Hrmmmmm

So now what do you do when the person you love the most and want to be with for the rest of your life, lives far away and you only get to see them a few times a year? I'm not a relationship expert nor am I great with relationships... But I chose this topic because it struck a chord with me that seemed like it needed to be thought about and discussed... The 'distance/absence makes a heart grow fonder' garbage is true only if the two people involved feel the same for each other, can articulate their feelings that can make that statement true, foresee a future of some kind, can be true to their feeling for each other and live their lives a separate and together at the same time, or find in each other what the other needs or wants...