It's one milestone in a long line of lifelong milestones in a persons life. 18 is pretty huge. And the funny thing for me being her mother is, I didn't freak when I was turning 40. Nope, it was just another birthday milestone for me but I didn't let it make me crazy. Watching my daughter this last year in high school has been an eye opener and a major reality check for me. She is no longer a child. Well, she still acts like she's 12 but she's a teenager and a birthday isn't a magic day where all of the sudden you're an adult and you can no longer act like you did 24 hours before. She says she doesn't feel different but knows she's different now. What a strange way of putting it but it's pretty accurate.
How do we navigate this murky water between teenager not yet old enough but yet old enough to do some things you weren't old enough to do the day before? Confusing huh? It's a fine line of being an adult and a child. She could vote, purchase cigarettes (but she can't smoke in my house), she could walk into the DMV and get her license and immediately take her behind the wheel test (if she was ready to and I wanted to drive in a car with her, I don't), she can sign herself out of school (not going to permit that but I'm sure she'll do it anyway) and she could even move out of my house if she wanted to (but won't, because who will cook and clean for her if she left?)
So many possibilities and yet too many scary things to fathom what "being an adult" entails. You can no longer get away with breaking a law and having your record sealed as a juvenile, you will be looked upon to do great things and not be a lazy bum, you have to start making life choices that you ultimately have to live with and suffer the consequences of any misdeed you may do and even though you're an adult you can't get away with the dumb stuff you did as a "kid" because now, you should know better.
I still feel like there is so much I need to teach her and I feel like I need more time. As parents we get them for 18 whirlwind years and then they become their own person and move on. They get the rest of their lives for the rest of their lives and we as parents have to sit back and watch. It's like a toddler learning to walk, you have your hands out ready for them to hold on to in case they stumble or fall all the while hoping they will just walk and not fall.
We got to watch so many milestones before this day and now she's ready to have the rest of her milestones on her own. We get to be a witness as a spectator instead of a facilitator. Oh how sad and scared I am for what's to come.
Where do we go from here? Who knows... Just a few months left in her senior year of high school and she is savoring every moment. So I say enjoy these last few months and let me watch you as you grow into your adulthood and tackle yet another milestone I have had the honor of witnessing.
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