Dear MiniMe,
Life is rough. Life is unfair. Life is good. It may not seem like it all the time, but I love you with all that I am and ever will be. We may get on each other's nerves from time to time and you may feel suffocated by my mothering a lot of the time. But, I promiss you, I do all I do because I love you and want you to know you are always loved no matter what you say or do. You make me laugh. You frustrate me. You give me a reason to be a good mom.
It sucks being the middle child. I would know since I am a middle child. And I know it sucks. The pressures to be better than your oldest sibling and to be more special than your younger sibling is a lot to live up to. You want to emulate your older sibling while attempting to be a good role model for your younger sibling. It's a rough ride when you have an older sibling who can literally suck the life out of every situation and can make even the most simple and fun thing be such a chore. And then the competition for attention is worse when your younger sibling is not only the baby of the family but is the only boy too. Talk about rotten luck. But we must deal with the hand we are dealt.
I will say though that you have a sweeter disposition than I ever did at your current age (12 going on 16 😔) and that helps because you are very likable to others and lovable to me. The only problem is, is that you still crave attention so badly but you must go about it a different way. Whether it be to be noticed by doing something good or bad, you just want to be noticed and there is no harm or shame in going after what you want. It's just in the way you go about it that matters. Negative attention is still attention but it won't be as satisfying as the positive attention given when you do something good because then you feel good about what you did and for the attention it got you. Praise feels so much better to give than being disappointed. No matter what kind of attention you seek and how you go about getting it, I want you to know I love you no matter what.
And remember, your attitude towards yourself is more important and it reflects how you handle situations. You are precious to me. Your personality is so unlike how I was at your age and yet we are probably more alike now then we will ever be from these days forward. We have things we like to do. I love to read and listen to music. If I could get a job doing just that, I would. I like to eat and I like being outdoors. You like all of the above but I think you like being outdoors as long as you don't have to walk or climb or be too active. In time, I hope that changes. I think I could sit with you and just listen to music and read and we wouldn't have to talk.
Although I'd like to talk to you. I'd like to know what you're thinking. I'd like to know how you're feeling. Only if you let me in. The unanswered question is the question never asked. It's not easy talking to you because I know you'd mostly want my approval more than you'd care about anything else. Just know that what ever you say is going to be heard. If you want me to say something, you need only ask. I may not know everything or have an answer for everything, but I will share what ever you wish to know. Whatever you say will stay between us unless you wish to share it and even then it's for you to share.
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